This Is The Answer!

John Mayer - Split Screen Sadness

And I don’t know where you went when you left me but
Says here in the water you must be gone by now
I can tell somehow
One hand on the trigger of a telephone
Wonderin' when the call comes
Where you say it’s alright
You got your heart right

Maybe I’ll sleep inside my coat and
Wait on your porch ‘till you come back home
Oh, right
I can’t find a flight

We share the sadness
Split screen sadness

Two wrongs make it all alright tonight
Two wrongs make it all alright tonight
Two wrongs make it all alright tonight
Two wrongs make it all alright tonight

"All you need is love" is a lie 'cause
We had a love but we still said goodbye
Now we’re tired, battered fighters

And it stings when it nobody’s fault cause there's
Nothing to blame At the drop of your name
It’s only the air you took and the breath you left

So maybe I’ll sleep inside my coat and
Wait on your porch 'til you come back home
Oh, right
I can’t find a flight
So I’ll check the weather wherever you are
Cause I wanna know if you can see the stars tonight
It might be my only right

We share the sadness
(two wrongs make it all alright tonight)
Split screen sadness
(two wrongs make it all alright tonight)
We share the sadness
(two wrongs make it all alright tonight)
Split screen sadness
(two wrongs make it all alright tonight)

I called
because
I just
Need to feel you on the line
Don’t hang up this time
And I know it was me who called it over but
I still wish you'd fought me ‘til Your dying day
Don’t let me get away

Cause I can’t wait to figure out what’s wrong with me
So I can say 'this is the way that I used to be
There’s no substitute for time
Or for the sadness
(two wrongs make it all alright tonight)
Split screen sadness
(two wrongs make it all alright tonight)
We share the sadness
(two wrongs make it all alright tonight)
Split screen sadness
(two wrongs make it all alright tonight)
Oh and the sadness
It's alright, it's alright
Oh and the sadness
It's alright, it's alright
Oh and the sadness
It's alright, it's alright

Adele - Right As Rain

Lyrics | Right As Rain lyrics

You

Intentionality

One thing I realized about relationships is that you have to be very intentional when dealing with them. It is really easy to fall into a rut and be complacent about the way things are heading. It is extremely important to continue to remind each other about the initial goal of the relationship; what you both agreed on before even starting the relationship. It is about trying to make things work out in spite of your differences.

Imagine two people with very different backgrounds and perceptions coming together, trying to understand and love each other. It is hard. I think in the span of several months, we have fought many times but we resolve the issue almost immediately which is great. I guess we both can't stand being mad at each other for very long. It's also true what they say, the ones that are closest to you hurt you the most.

Which brings me back to my point; you have to be intentional. What do you think?

<3

A warning sign
I missed the good part then I realised
I started looking and the bubble burst
I started looking for excuses

Come on in
I've got to tell you what a state I'm in
I've got to tell you in my loudest tones
That I started looking for a warning sign

When the truth is
I miss you
Yeah the truth is
That I miss you so

A warning sign
You came back to haunt me and I realised
That you were an island and I passed you by
When you were an island to discover

Come on in
I've got to tell you what a state I'm in
I've got to tell you in my loudest tones
That I started looking for a warning sign

When the truth is
I miss you
Yeah the truth is
That I miss you so

And I'm tired
I should not have let you go

So I crawl back into your open arms
Yes I crawl back into your open arms
And I crawl back into your open arms
Yes I crawl back into your open arms

Against The World

Flyleaf - I'm So Sick

I will break into your thoughts
With what's written on my heart
I will break, break

I'm so sick,
Infected with where I live
Let me live without this
Empty bliss,
Selfishness
I'm so sick
I'm so sick

If you want more of this
We can push out, sell out, die out
So you'll shut up
And stay sleeping
With my screaming in your itching ears

I'm so sick,
Infected with where I live
Let me live without this
Empty bliss,
Selfishness
I'm so sick
I'm so sick

Hear it, I'm screaming it
You're heeding to it now

Hear it! I'm screaming it!
You tremble at this sound

You sink into my clothes
And this invasion
Makes me feel
Worthless, hopeless, sick

I'm so sick,
Infected with where I live
Let me live without this
Empty bliss,
Selfishness
I'm so sick
I'm so sick

I'm so sick
Infected with where I live
Let me live without this
Empty bliss, selfishness
I'm so
I'm so sick
I'm so

Slow Dancing In A Burning Room

I thought things ended 2 weeks ago but last night I found myself having another deeper version of the previous conversation that we had. I admit that I resented seeing him for the past week, even yesterday. He came by after dinner to just talk, and we did; with long periods of silences in between.

Somehow it feels that he's trying to convince himself that things will not work out and seeing me and saying it out loud to me helps. Maybe it's just me, but I feel that he's afraid of a lot of things. Afraid of hurting me, afraid of being himself, afraid of making the wrong decisions in life, regret....shame. He told me things aren't easy and I agreed with him, but I said that life is as easy or as hard as you make it out to be.

I am already moving on, I've been feeling it. I told him that I will not be here, in this state of mind for long and he said he knows, he said I deserved better. He left without finishing the conversation looking rather troubled. I hope he'll feel okay eventually because I know I will.

Two

Recently, I've been spending a lot of time with my friend Sam which is good because it seemed like a better way of using my time rather than going out partying every weekend or sitting around and moping about you know who. I've decided to give up on what I want for the time being so I've been doing my best not to see him and it has been working. I've been feeling much better and even when I do see him, I don't feel heartsick that much anymore. Having a regular conversation does not seem so hard anymore.

However, tonight is special. We'll be going to an orchestral performance together; just the both of us. He was looking for someone to go with to his professor's recital tonight and no one else wanted to go so I volunteered. You may think I'm doing the wrong thing by spending time alone with him but the truth is, I miss talking to him. Haven't had that one-on-one time in several months. Maybe I'm making up excuses for myself but I've always wanted to go to the orchestra at Drake but never had before.

I wasn't being optimistic about the whole thing either because he had a very busy day working and didn't get much sleep so there was a good chance that he might decide not to go. When I asked him about it, I was doing my best not to persuade him but to let him decide. Also, if I didn't go with him, I had something else that I could attend anyway. According to our conversation on the phone, he is coming but I have to give him a lil wake up call because he's going to take a nap before heading out with me.

I don't know if he'll wake up or change his mind at the last minute but for now, I'll allow myself a small smile.

Edit: Up to the time while we were about to leave, he kept asking other people to come along. Guess he didn't want to just watch it with me; we ended up sitting with a mutual friend at the auditorium. So much for being slightly optimistic.

Selfish

I should've known better than to put my hopes in you, to want to rely on you and yet somehow, you always seem to disappoint me. Nothing but disappointment time and time again.

I wonder, how do you feel about youself? Letting me down like that? Where is your heart?

You don't even care! You don't even care if I crash into a ditch somewhere and die and no one ever finds me. You don't even care if some random guy tries to hit on me. You don't even care as a friend.

And I wonder why it took me so long to realize this. Why did I even bother to put up with you and your excuses. When all this while the only thing you care about is yourself.

I hate you.

Letting Go

After all this thinking and struggling that I've been going through. After feeling like a yo-yo on an almost daily basis, I finally made my decision. It came to me in the oddest place; the Asian Market. Something a friend said regarding this boy just clicked into my head. I've finally decided not to tell him. Not out of cowardice but because I feel that it is the right thing to do. A friend of mine recently told me very frankly to think things through...if I could see a future with him. It was hard to accept that even I was not sure of things to come.

I guess I'll have to get over this somehow, through some other way and no doubt that it will be a struggle, I have a feeling that I'll be alright. It's not easy to get over someone that you feel so strongly about. To make little of the good times you had together and keep everything strictly platonic. Remembering the times when they opened up and shared their heart honestly with you. He's like a vault, no matter how hard you try to get through, you just can't get in unless he lets you. And it was then that I realized how beautiful he was when I saw what was on the inside. I was trying hard...so hard to get in and nothing seemed to work.

I now know that this is not meant to happen for now. As for the future, I don't know and right now, I don't want to know. What I do know is, I'll know when the time is right. Love does not come easily nor is it easy. But when it does, I'm going to give it my best shot.

Give by Dishwalla

I have felt the comfort
Now what did I do to disappoint you?
Idle my emptiness
And it keeps returning to remind me
That I want to remain
A child with you forever
And here as you lay before me
You tease me and tell me to stay
But what would you give
What would you give
I have given everything I could
But I don't think it really matters
Maybe nothing does

Secret

You know that feeling. That gnawing feeling in the pit of your stomach when you have something to tell someone but you can't do it out of the fear of ruining their life, your life. So what do you do? You keep it inside, burying it underneath layers of logic and reason; hoping that it goes away eventually. But it doesn't. Not for a while anyway. It pops its head up every now and then, and that feeling in your stomach grows even worse. It affects every aspect of your life, when you're awake, when you're daydreaming, when you're sleeping. It overwhelms your entire being until you feel like you're going to explode if you don't get if off your chest. But you can't. You just can't bring yourself to tell them.

Cannonball - Damien Rice

There’s still a little bit of your taste in my mouth
There’s still a little bit of you laced with my doubt
It’s still a little hard to say what's going on

There’s still a little bit of your ghost your weakness
There’s still a little bit of your face I haven't kissed
You step a little closer each day
That I can´t say what´s going on

Stones taught me to fly
Love, it taught me to lie
Life, it taught me to die
So it's not hard to fall
When you float like a cannonball

There’s still a little bit of your song in my ear
There’s still a little bit of your words I long to hear
You step a little closer to me
So close that I can´t see what´s going on

Stones taught me to fly
Love, it taught me to lie
Life, it taught me to die
So it's not hard to fall
When you float like a cannon..

Stones taught me to fly
And love taught me to cry
So come on courage
Teach me to be shy
Cause it's not hard to fall
And I don't wanna scare her
It's not hard to fall
And I don't wanna lose
It's not hard to grow
When you know that you just don't know

Regret

There are days
When wanting to see you
Hurts more than I ever imagined

When all I want
Is to just hang out with you
And laugh like we used to

I can’t help but feel
That this is my fault
How things are no longer the same

It’s stupid, I’m stupid
How I tried to push you away
To make my selfish self feel better

You deserve better
Maybe I should just stay away
I hate to hurt you

There isn’t a day that goes by
That I don’t think of you
But I think I’ll be alright

Do you...?

Tried
Still trying
Maybe failing

Two guys at a party
Conversation
Through the night

Trying to get
Over you
I want to

You were there
But you left
For the better

Your indifference
Took it in stride
Despite my pride

Saw you again
Today
I made dinner

Loved it
You told me so
Tell me something else

What I want
To hear
Do you…?

On The Edge

Ever so slightly,
Ever so softly,
I don’t want to,
I’m flailing, I’m falling.

Tripping and stumbling,
Nearer and harder,
Deeper and closer,
What have I gotten myself into?

I'm slipping,

I'm stepping,

Closer than I want to,

Closer than you want to.

Here I am standing,
On the edge,
Wondering if you knew,
How much I felt for you.

You

If I fell in love with you,
it will be because of your sweet disposition,
it will be because of your passion,
it will be because of your smile.

If I fell in love with you,
it will be because of your patience,
it will be because of your talent,
it will be because of how you always want to do things right.

If I fell in love with you,
it will be because of your dedication,
it will be because of your willingess,
it will be because of your gentleness.

If I fell in love with you,
it will be because of the way you laugh,
it will be because of the way you frown,
it will be because of how you love to clown around.

If I fell in love with you,
it will be because of our differences,
it will be because of your Godliness,
it will be because of you.

Philosophies On Love

Recently, a friend of mine went through a break up with her boyfriend that turned out rather nasty. The interesting part was after a while (a few hours) of fuming at him, she wanted him back; for all the wrong reasons. From what I gather, she doesn't want to feel or be alone.

I think it's rather disheartening to see people who view themselves as lonely or incomplete unless they're with someone "special". What then were you before you discovered relationships? I doubt you felt alone. I think moving from one bad relationship to another just to fill that "hole" inside is just not the way to do things. I guess we're not to blame because a lot of our views regarding love and relationships are formed by the world.

The best place for love is no other than God. Why? Because His love is unconditional. It's the best there is! We might say that we can love unconditionally but in truth, we cannot for we are just humans and in some way or the other, our love is flawed. In the Bible, it clearly states that "Love is patient, love is kind. It does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails."

I cannot think of any better description of love. I'm not trying to be holier than thou here but I feel that if one does not have the capacity to want to try and love someone that way, I don't think you should want to start a relationship with that person. Relationships are all about giving in my opinion, but giving in a good way. Relationships are supposed to build the other person up and to come alongside them in love and support. The other person should want to do the same for you if he/she loves you. By giving to each other, each benefits because they each receive in return. I'm not saying that there is no compromise; of course there is because love is patient.

I don't think all of us are meant to find the other half but instead, those people are meant to find their completeness in God. Until you find the right person, I think the best thing is just to rest in God's perfect love for us. That's my thoughts on love anyways.