I don’t think I’ve ever been to a fancy dress party in my 20 odd years of existence. Sad huh? I never realized how fun it was to dress up to a specific theme. It was YT and Rina’s 30th birthday bash and it was all 80’s styled. I had little clue of what fashion styles reigned throughout the 80’s so I decided to look some up. It was awful…so awful that it was almost unbelievable that people actually wore what they did. Anyways, I couldn’t bring myself to dress in acid colors so I did the 80’s my way. To my surprise…it turned out all right.
The party was really fun, but half the guests that turned out didn’t bother to dress up and that was quite disappointing. But, I’m glad to say that all the CG members were a perfect picture out of the 80’s! Those who didn’t make an effort to dress up got punished (of course!) and were made to eat a horrible concoction of all the leftover party food including the cake and some extra condiments from the kitchen. During the games, some of us were rather blur during the 80’s trivia as we were probably too little to remember what we watched…with my exception of MacGyver. Our lack of TV Trivia knowledge was fortunately made up by the rest of the party guests who mainly grew up during that period of time.
Happy 30th YT and Rina. It was a blast! Now, I wonder what a Medieval or Monster themed party would be like…Hmm…
Sunday, September 24, 2006
Wednesday, September 20, 2006
Escape!!!
Once again, after a night of fun and sisterhood with my bezzie, I had to face the wrath of my mother (mostly!) in the morning. She yelled at me and said that I was wasting my life away by hanging out late into the night and this causes me to wake up late in the mornings. Apparently, responsible people go to bed early (before 12am) as they need to work in the morning. “What have you been doing?” she said. You’re just wasting your time away by not wanting to get a job because you’re so fussy about the wages and you want minimum wage. It was my turn to retort and sadly, I did most of it in my head, I wish I had the guts to say it out loud but every time in this kind of situation, I get so upset that I have to keep quiet or else I would end up crying because I’m so frustrated inside.
Why can’t they see the way that I see things in life and just accept me for who I am and not try to change me??!! Yes, they’re intentions might be only for the best for me but why can’t they present their views in a different manner instead of trying to put my beliefs down! So yeah, I was born a girl…lucky me. For a fact, I thank God that I am a girl but sometimes…especially in times like these…I’m sorry God but yeah I wish I was a boy or I wish You made people sexless. No matter how hard we try, we cannot escape the fact that there are men (those bastards!) out there who try and harm us in some way. Because of this stupid belief that women are the weaker sex, we are inhibited of experiencing things in life that most men find the norm. Take for example, Grace. Her dad sets a curfew on her to be back by midnight. Isn’t that absolutely unreasonable?? Mine is no better because by today, I have to be back latest by 1 am. Damn shit!!! I am so mad because I can’t change the way things are...especially even more with Chinese parents who tend to treat sons and daughters unequally.
Another thing, there are such things as people being morning or night persons and I just happen to fall into the latter category and am therefore persecuted by my own parents. I also happen to be an idealist. Yeah….why do people want to view the world through the eyes of a pessimist? Isn’t there enough of shit and crap happening already? Why can’t people be optimists instead and try to see the best of things? What happened to hope? I’m pretty sure that Jesus was an idealist. I mean, who in their right mind would “turn the other cheek”? So what if I’m an idealist? I like being one because if the whole world were full of realists, there wouldn’t be any of the miracles, do gooders and charity workers and advances in technology. I can bet you that Einstein was just like me, an idealist.
The fact of the matter is that we are the kind of people who would want to make this world a better place. About the minimum wage, yeah if I could, I would enforce it and not just for my sake but for other people as well. Imagine working in Tesco (it is my mum’s dream that I listen to what she wants me to do and work as a cashier in Tesco for the meager pay of RM 4.50 an hour). Come on, be real! No one can survive on a little over USD1 an hour. People are worth so much more than that! Imagine a single mother trying to struggle working long hours just to support her 3 kids by earning RM 4.50 an hour? Don’t you think it’s absurd? I’d rather be the one earning more but yes, paying higher taxes and paying more for services. At least the government would provide welfare for those who need it most. At the root of it all, I just want to see people living better and in a stupid way, I am protesting to the fact by not working as I think that my labor…though unskilled…is worth more than RM 4.50 an hour.
I find it amazing that some children are so close to their parents, like how close Grace is to her mum. At the same time, I envy them. Imagine, my parents treat me this way, like a child and I have to obey them without question. My views are not accepted nor asked for in this house. No wonder I view them as parents, nothing else. Authoritative figures whose decisions and views are not to be questioned…absolutely no hint of a loving parent-child relationship. And it’s a miracle I turned out the way I am today. Independent in some way yes, and a rebel at heart although most of my actions and views are suppressed.
I am always resisting in some form or the other. My friends are my advisors, my confidantes, my partners in crime. I ask my friends for more advice than I do my parents. When I was seeing N for a while, I thought of telling my mum so many times but although the words were on the tip of my tongue, I could never bring myself to say it. Now I know precisely why. I understand that I can not have the same intimacy with my parents as that I experience with my friends. It doesn’t help either that my dad is a racist. Imagine, most of my friends know about N, even YT, my CG leader. I tell her things that I wouldn’t even dream of telling my parents! I mean, don’t my parents ever wonder that although I’m old enough, I’ve never gotten into a relationship? Or came close? It’s just that I’d rather not let them know. I think my apprehension of them finding out also made me avoid wanting one. I cannot imagine coming home and telling my parents…”Hi mum, dad…meet my boyfriend!” I would rather die than do that.
Sure you might say that they’re doing this out of love and yeah, they might be even doing it out of love but if you ask anyone who experiences this and ask them if they feel loved…I can bet you that they’d say no. Face it, I’m growing up. They have to stop controlling my actions and making my decisions for me. I am my own person. Yes I am their daughter but I’m neither their clone nor puppet. Gone are the days when I obey and believe every single word they say. They taught me yes, but they can only teach me so much. They cannot protect me their entire life and if I have to learn the hard way, so be it. Tell me honestly, how do you learn effectively and remember what you’ve learnt? By doing it, right? Not by recalling what you’ve heard from so and so. You need to deduce and analyze the information by yourself and then make the decision you deem appropriate. Take for example, I’ve met the love of my life but he happens to be a non-Chinese guy and my parents would not let me marry someone who isn’t Chinese. What if he really is The One that God intended for me to marry but because of my parents’ decision, I’m not allowed to be with him. Won’t I miss out on one of the best things that could happen to me?
I think its time they just let me go and trust me to make my decisions in life. If I stumble and get hurt, it’s all part of learning and growing up. Why can’t they just see that? Can’t they see that if they don’t let me learn to make my own decisions, I’ll never learn in time? Kids nowadays are smarter than they look and I’m definitely smarter than my brother at any given age. Not to mention the fact that I would be living independent of their presence in a few months time on the other side of the world.
I’ve been fighting this my entire life with and without me realizing it. It’s no wonder why I want to study overseas, in America of all places. “So far from home” is what I’ve heard some people tell me. If they only knew my reasons for doing it but it’s not entirely because I want to get away. I need to live a little and I can take care of myself! If they don’t even let me stay out after 1am in Malaysia, what makes them think I’ll be safe at any time in America where gun possession is legalized and school shootings are the norm? Think people, think. Gahh!! Now you know why I’m so frustrated. I can see all of this in my mind but they don’t get it. It’s logical isn’t it? I get angry because they want to tell me what to do but they don’t give me a good and proper reason for it. Hello, I’m no longer 5 years old and dumb. I will question your decisions and if you want me to respect and obey them, you had better give me a good explanation for it. The phrase “Because I said so” no longer suffice. So, I hope that by going away, I can at least, for a while, escape the choking and suppressive clutches of the people I love whom I call mum and dad and experience life…the good, the bad, the ugly and the painful.
Why can’t they see the way that I see things in life and just accept me for who I am and not try to change me??!! Yes, they’re intentions might be only for the best for me but why can’t they present their views in a different manner instead of trying to put my beliefs down! So yeah, I was born a girl…lucky me. For a fact, I thank God that I am a girl but sometimes…especially in times like these…I’m sorry God but yeah I wish I was a boy or I wish You made people sexless. No matter how hard we try, we cannot escape the fact that there are men (those bastards!) out there who try and harm us in some way. Because of this stupid belief that women are the weaker sex, we are inhibited of experiencing things in life that most men find the norm. Take for example, Grace. Her dad sets a curfew on her to be back by midnight. Isn’t that absolutely unreasonable?? Mine is no better because by today, I have to be back latest by 1 am. Damn shit!!! I am so mad because I can’t change the way things are...especially even more with Chinese parents who tend to treat sons and daughters unequally.
Another thing, there are such things as people being morning or night persons and I just happen to fall into the latter category and am therefore persecuted by my own parents. I also happen to be an idealist. Yeah….why do people want to view the world through the eyes of a pessimist? Isn’t there enough of shit and crap happening already? Why can’t people be optimists instead and try to see the best of things? What happened to hope? I’m pretty sure that Jesus was an idealist. I mean, who in their right mind would “turn the other cheek”? So what if I’m an idealist? I like being one because if the whole world were full of realists, there wouldn’t be any of the miracles, do gooders and charity workers and advances in technology. I can bet you that Einstein was just like me, an idealist.
The fact of the matter is that we are the kind of people who would want to make this world a better place. About the minimum wage, yeah if I could, I would enforce it and not just for my sake but for other people as well. Imagine working in Tesco (it is my mum’s dream that I listen to what she wants me to do and work as a cashier in Tesco for the meager pay of RM 4.50 an hour). Come on, be real! No one can survive on a little over USD1 an hour. People are worth so much more than that! Imagine a single mother trying to struggle working long hours just to support her 3 kids by earning RM 4.50 an hour? Don’t you think it’s absurd? I’d rather be the one earning more but yes, paying higher taxes and paying more for services. At least the government would provide welfare for those who need it most. At the root of it all, I just want to see people living better and in a stupid way, I am protesting to the fact by not working as I think that my labor…though unskilled…is worth more than RM 4.50 an hour.
I find it amazing that some children are so close to their parents, like how close Grace is to her mum. At the same time, I envy them. Imagine, my parents treat me this way, like a child and I have to obey them without question. My views are not accepted nor asked for in this house. No wonder I view them as parents, nothing else. Authoritative figures whose decisions and views are not to be questioned…absolutely no hint of a loving parent-child relationship. And it’s a miracle I turned out the way I am today. Independent in some way yes, and a rebel at heart although most of my actions and views are suppressed.
I am always resisting in some form or the other. My friends are my advisors, my confidantes, my partners in crime. I ask my friends for more advice than I do my parents. When I was seeing N for a while, I thought of telling my mum so many times but although the words were on the tip of my tongue, I could never bring myself to say it. Now I know precisely why. I understand that I can not have the same intimacy with my parents as that I experience with my friends. It doesn’t help either that my dad is a racist. Imagine, most of my friends know about N, even YT, my CG leader. I tell her things that I wouldn’t even dream of telling my parents! I mean, don’t my parents ever wonder that although I’m old enough, I’ve never gotten into a relationship? Or came close? It’s just that I’d rather not let them know. I think my apprehension of them finding out also made me avoid wanting one. I cannot imagine coming home and telling my parents…”Hi mum, dad…meet my boyfriend!” I would rather die than do that.
Sure you might say that they’re doing this out of love and yeah, they might be even doing it out of love but if you ask anyone who experiences this and ask them if they feel loved…I can bet you that they’d say no. Face it, I’m growing up. They have to stop controlling my actions and making my decisions for me. I am my own person. Yes I am their daughter but I’m neither their clone nor puppet. Gone are the days when I obey and believe every single word they say. They taught me yes, but they can only teach me so much. They cannot protect me their entire life and if I have to learn the hard way, so be it. Tell me honestly, how do you learn effectively and remember what you’ve learnt? By doing it, right? Not by recalling what you’ve heard from so and so. You need to deduce and analyze the information by yourself and then make the decision you deem appropriate. Take for example, I’ve met the love of my life but he happens to be a non-Chinese guy and my parents would not let me marry someone who isn’t Chinese. What if he really is The One that God intended for me to marry but because of my parents’ decision, I’m not allowed to be with him. Won’t I miss out on one of the best things that could happen to me?
I think its time they just let me go and trust me to make my decisions in life. If I stumble and get hurt, it’s all part of learning and growing up. Why can’t they just see that? Can’t they see that if they don’t let me learn to make my own decisions, I’ll never learn in time? Kids nowadays are smarter than they look and I’m definitely smarter than my brother at any given age. Not to mention the fact that I would be living independent of their presence in a few months time on the other side of the world.
I’ve been fighting this my entire life with and without me realizing it. It’s no wonder why I want to study overseas, in America of all places. “So far from home” is what I’ve heard some people tell me. If they only knew my reasons for doing it but it’s not entirely because I want to get away. I need to live a little and I can take care of myself! If they don’t even let me stay out after 1am in Malaysia, what makes them think I’ll be safe at any time in America where gun possession is legalized and school shootings are the norm? Think people, think. Gahh!! Now you know why I’m so frustrated. I can see all of this in my mind but they don’t get it. It’s logical isn’t it? I get angry because they want to tell me what to do but they don’t give me a good and proper reason for it. Hello, I’m no longer 5 years old and dumb. I will question your decisions and if you want me to respect and obey them, you had better give me a good explanation for it. The phrase “Because I said so” no longer suffice. So, I hope that by going away, I can at least, for a while, escape the choking and suppressive clutches of the people I love whom I call mum and dad and experience life…the good, the bad, the ugly and the painful.
Tuesday, September 19, 2006
D-R-A-K-E
I suppose I haven't been very clear on why I've been grounded in Malaysia all this while. Apparently, when I was about to register for classes at Trent U, I discovered(to my utmost horror...of course!) that some of my credits would not be taken into account towards the final count for graduation. Meaning that I would have to spend extra time completing all the neccessary hours to graduate...time i.e. 1 extra year!! Hah...thought I, I would not want to do this. After much dilly-dallying about making my decision, I finally decided not to go afterall but stay back in Malaysia for one more semester to try and apply to other U's in the States and see if I actually get a better deal out from them.
After much searching and suffering from eye fatigue from all the long hours staring at the computer screen, browsing through many different U's, I decided on applying to Drake U and U Maine Farmington. The deadline was coming up and so I was rushing the application but the bank letter seemed to take forever. I finally mailed my application on Thursday, on the way to Johor/Singapore...I stopped by the college to process everything and to see my advisor. You would think that I would get the results to my application in at leaat 4 weeks time right? Wrong!
I decided to check my e-mail today as I've been liasing with both the U's, informing them that I've sent all neccessary documents etc. To my surprise, waiting in my Inbox was an e-mail from Drake U stating that I've obtained the Presidential Transfer Award amounting to $8000 and the International Student Award of $6345!! That would mean almost half off my university expenses which without scholarship would amount to $32,000 a year. So thank God for the speedy reply and the scholarship! I think He knows that I'm a rather impatient person who would want results immediately. This time, I was blown away! Another thing, if I decide to choose Drake, I will be heading off to the States with a fellow buddy of mine...Grace, who also obtained the scholarships! Looks like I won't be so alone after all...
All in all, I'm rather glad that I decided not to go to Canada but instead apply to US and take the time to wait. I would've regretted my butt if I'd known what would've been the outcome of the application and I'd went off to Trent. Plus, I'll get to celebrate my 21st birthday with my family and friends and my best bud. And...to attend Eugene and Nianci's wedding as well!!!
After much searching and suffering from eye fatigue from all the long hours staring at the computer screen, browsing through many different U's, I decided on applying to Drake U and U Maine Farmington. The deadline was coming up and so I was rushing the application but the bank letter seemed to take forever. I finally mailed my application on Thursday, on the way to Johor/Singapore...I stopped by the college to process everything and to see my advisor. You would think that I would get the results to my application in at leaat 4 weeks time right? Wrong!
I decided to check my e-mail today as I've been liasing with both the U's, informing them that I've sent all neccessary documents etc. To my surprise, waiting in my Inbox was an e-mail from Drake U stating that I've obtained the Presidential Transfer Award amounting to $8000 and the International Student Award of $6345!! That would mean almost half off my university expenses which without scholarship would amount to $32,000 a year. So thank God for the speedy reply and the scholarship! I think He knows that I'm a rather impatient person who would want results immediately. This time, I was blown away! Another thing, if I decide to choose Drake, I will be heading off to the States with a fellow buddy of mine...Grace, who also obtained the scholarships! Looks like I won't be so alone after all...
All in all, I'm rather glad that I decided not to go to Canada but instead apply to US and take the time to wait. I would've regretted my butt if I'd known what would've been the outcome of the application and I'd went off to Trent. Plus, I'll get to celebrate my 21st birthday with my family and friends and my best bud. And...to attend Eugene and Nianci's wedding as well!!!
Thursday, September 14, 2006
Why Did The Tortoise Cross The Road?
We've all heard various jokes about "Why did the chicken cross the road?" but I've yet to hear something mentioned about tortoises crossing the road. As I was on my way to Johor/Singapore today,I was looking out the car window and there was a tortoise in the middle of the road. A tortoise!! I've heard of elephant, deer and cow crossings but tortoises? I hope the poor thing did not get squashed by a speeding car.
Friday, September 08, 2006
Leaving On A Jet Plane
All my bags are packed, I'm ready to go
I'm standin' here outside your door
I hate to wake you up to say goodbye
But the dawn is breakin', it's early morn
The taxi's waitin', he's blowin' his horn
Already I'm so lonesome I could die
So kiss me and smile for me
Tell me that you'll wait for me
Hold me like you'll never let me go
'Cause I'm leaving on a jet plane
I don't know when I'll be back again
Oh, babe, I hate to go...
If things went as planned, I would be singing this song right now at KLIA. I was supposed to leave for Canada right this very day at this very time. It's funny how sometimes things don't turn out the way you want them to. But then again, God knows what's best, especially for me...perhaps I probably could fare better in America. I have yet to send my completed application but it should be done by the end of next week. And hopefully, I'll be singing along to Chantal Kreviazuk at the end of the year...
Wednesday, September 06, 2006
The Many Uses of Two Thumbdrives
I really need to get an external hard drive...or preferably an Ipod....seriously! I know I've been saying that I'm going to get an Ipod but it never seems to happen. Since I managed to get my laptop working in perfect condition, I decided that it was time to transfer all my mp3 files from my desktop to my laptop. The problem with that was, I don't have an external hard drive with large enough space to copy all the files at once.
The closest thing I have to that is two 1GB thumbdrives. "Oh no!", you think. Yeap, you got that right. I transferred more than 10GB worth of mp3's from my desktop using those two puny thumbdrives. And boy, did it take a long time. I not only had to transfer the files but I had to reorganize and sort everything out. Now, I'm proud to say that I've got all of my mp3's organized...for now that is. And...an Ipod would really help....my 21st birthday is coming up. ;)
The closest thing I have to that is two 1GB thumbdrives. "Oh no!", you think. Yeap, you got that right. I transferred more than 10GB worth of mp3's from my desktop using those two puny thumbdrives. And boy, did it take a long time. I not only had to transfer the files but I had to reorganize and sort everything out. Now, I'm proud to say that I've got all of my mp3's organized...for now that is. And...an Ipod would really help....my 21st birthday is coming up. ;)
Monday, September 04, 2006
Connection(s)
Although I like to think of myself as reasonably good with computers, in real fact, I'm just a little above the average Joe when it comes to them. However, today I feel like an absolute genius. Ever since I got my new laptop, I've got it working to my satisfaction with the help of Ju. I've only connected to the Internet once, at Ju's using his wireless, meaning I haven't managed to connect to Streamyx at my house. I was hoping to try out my laptop at home and I tried setting up the connection but somehow, it didn't work.
As I was rather bored today, I decided to try once more and once more I tried. It didn't work. I had absolutely no idea of how to set up a New Connection. Then before I gave up, I gave it one last shot. I never knew it was that simple to set it up. I wish I knew earlier!! But it was good to learn how to do it by myself anyways. I find that when I learn how to do things by myself, I tend to remember how to do them again in the future. So, this is your friendly computer techie signing off...
As I was rather bored today, I decided to try once more and once more I tried. It didn't work. I had absolutely no idea of how to set up a New Connection. Then before I gave up, I gave it one last shot. I never knew it was that simple to set it up. I wish I knew earlier!! But it was good to learn how to do it by myself anyways. I find that when I learn how to do things by myself, I tend to remember how to do them again in the future. So, this is your friendly computer techie signing off...
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
