Pickles!

It's an amazing day outside; complete with sunshine and a warm breeze but all of my friends are indoors doing something or the other. We should all get out more and take a walk at Gray's Lake. Summer is almost here and I think I'm already in the holiday mood. Sure, I still study for classes and finish my assignments but things seem more relaxed...(to me anyways).

Recently, I've been suffering from cravings for Asian food. Not the so-called "Asian" food they serve here on campus but good Chinese, Japanese or Korean food. I went to a new Asian store yesterday and omg - it was food heaven! I was walking past the shelves and on each shelf, I could pick out something that I would love to eat or cook.


I stocked up my fridge and shelf with Spicy Pickled Radishes, Spicy Fried Korean Squid, Japanese Seaweed Salad, tom yum noodles etc. I've been eating a lot lately....like a lot. Possibly 4 full meals a day which is unusual for me because I usually eat about 2.5 meals. Maybe it's just one of those periods of stuffing myself and the next couple of days, I don't feel like eating anything at all. How I wish I had Klang Jaya nasi lemak sotong with me right now!

My friend asked me if I was pregnant. I don't think so...unless it's immaculate conception. Just a very hungry girl these days....maybe its parasitic worms in my stomach...hmm. But then again, if one has worms, they usually lose their appetites so I doubt that's the case. Mmm....food!

No One Steals My Calculator and Gets Away With It

A couple of weeks ago, I emphasize the word couple...someone came into my class to borrow a calculator and being a kind soul, I decided to lend him mine. He told me he would return it to me after his class ended at 3:15pm. I had lab until 4:50pm so it wasn't a big deal.

3:15pm came, then 3:30pm and then 4:00pm. I realized I wasn't going to get my calculator back and was fuming. What kind of person would keep something a kind stranger lent to them in their time of need? The answer is either an inconsiderate and forgetful person or a no-good thief.

I went back fuming at the loss of my very expensive and long-lived Casio, solar panel-powered scientific calculator with my name and initials plastered all over it. The next week, my classmate asked me if I got my calculator back yet. I said no...and she said that we should go get it back. But by the time she said it, it was after 3:15pm meaning that the other class had gotten out.

I eventually got over the loss of my calculator and consoled myself by saying that the person probably needed it more than I did. However, today when we were walking out of the lab to go on a field trip, my friend suddenly asked me..."Hey, you should go and get your calculator back!" We were walking pass the class but it was still going on and I thought...what the heck, I don't really care about interrupting the class so I went in.

The professor was like, "Can I help you?" and I was like, "Yeah...a couple of weeks ago, I lent someone my calculator and I haven't gotten it back yet..." when this guy...that same no-good-bum (!) raised his hand sheepishly and was like "Yeah, that was me. Do you need it now because its in my dorm room (the nerve!)?" I was like, "You can pass it back to me next week" while all his classmates was like whoaaaaa....

I'm sure he was embarrassed and it serves him right for trying to steal my calculator! He didn't even make any effort to locate me to return it. I'll make sure to collect my precious calculator next week. If he forgets again...he knows what's coming...*evil laugh*

Against The World

The First Day of Spring

What's love got to do with it?

A lot apparently.

Love VS. Lust (SG 2)

Please bear with me, this is a long post but one worth reading...I promise!

Been going through that book for the past 2 weeks...Sex God by Rob Bell. If I could, I would make it mandatory for everyone in the world to read it. It's so amazing how he puts issues that we have so many questions about out there in the context of honest and God-centered answers. I've learnt more from reading this book than I have through experiences that I've been through, or experiences that my friends have been through, or from movies or even my parents.

It is so easy to confuse lust with love in the world today because we are constantly bombarded with images, music and literature from the media labelling lust as "love". But then again, lust is not just about physical things like sex which is usually what we associate it with. Lust is something that we crave after so much that it occupies our minds even when we're not even thinking about it, that we're willing to do anything or give up anything to get it. It permeates our being subconsciously and we might not even realize it. So one can lust after money, food, success or even shoes. (Btw, I am referring to myself here and I am repenting!)

Unlike lust which is trying to get something all the time, love is the opposite...its about giving unconditionally. It's about putting your heart out there; of giving it to someone and taking the chance that they might not want it and having it given back to you. Love is about giving up power. When you give someone your love, they can choose to accept it or reject it and there is nothing that you can do about it. "Love is giving up control. If we are serious about loving someone, we have to surrender all the desires within us to manipulate the relationship." (Rob Bell, pg 98)

Love is about getting naked. Exposing your inner most being; your hopes, thoughts, fears, future...dreams. It's about putting yourself out there and being vunerable. That's why it hurts so much when relationships end. It's because you've given so much of yourself and having to take it back. But at the same time, you don't get your heart back the same way you gave it out. It always comes back lacking some part of it.

Incomplete.

"It's so easy to take off your clothes and have sex. People do it all the time. But opening up your soul to someone letting them into your sprit...that is being naked. Racing ahead of progession always costs something. When there is no common mission, no shared task, no sense of bone of bone and flesh of flesh, no bonds that take years to develop, many end up moving from relationship to relationship, having sex but never really being naked." (Rob Bell, pg 156-157)

That's why those who have loved much, hurt much. I have experienced hurt that I never thought was possible...almost to an extent that it was crippling. Yes it was hurtful emotionally but it hurt so much that I actually felt an ache in my chest. That pang in your chest when you happen to meet the person by chance and he/she does not even acknowledge you when they see you. The questions that race through your mind, "What did I do wrong?"..."How could he?". The hurt that comes next...the feeling of being used. And the finally the anger that could make or break a person.

It's so easy to turn into this cynical person who refuses to believe in love or even take another chance because your heart has been broken on more than one occasion. This is exactly how Jesus felt. The pain that He went through in dying on the cross for our sin when people clearly rejected Him. People still reject Him but the amazing thing is that He still loves us.

Unconditionally.

That is what love is supposed to be. Unconditional. Loving someone as they are...in spite of their shortcomings. Accepting them they way they are, like how Jesus accepted us.

This last part is an excerpt from Chapter 8, page 154. Something to think about.

Is that where the phrase "making love" comes from? An awareness that something mystical happens in sex, that something good and needed is created? Something is added to the world, given to the world. The world is blessed with something that it desperately needs. This man and this woman together are in some profoundly mysterious way good for the well-being of the whole world.

When we go to a wedding, maybe we're so moved because we want this new couple to succeed. We intuitively know that their "success" is somehow tied to ours. Their making of love makes the world a better place to live, a place where there is more love for all of us. Maybe this is why we always notice great marriages. When their love is growing, it inspires us. Their life together gives us life.

A wedding reminds us that it's all connected.

We're all connected.

My Addiction (hopefully no more...)

If I ever have to see a shrink, it will be because of one reason...and one reason only.

Shoes.

I absolutely adore shoes! Why? Because shoes fit no matter what, unlike clothes. I find it hard find clothes that fit me because I'm too slender for my own good. So I end up wearing the same things most of the time but then, it gets boring.

What do I do then? Look for something to dress up my outfit with. I usually end up looking at shoes. I have a horrible confession; in total...I have about three dozen pairs of footwear...high heels, boots, flats, sandals, sneakers, flip flops.

I went to the mall today and I found myself buying 3 more pairs because it would be insane to pass up (or to get...whichever you prefer) such a good deal. I paid $27.53 for the total three pairs; 2 pairs from Nine West and 1 pair from Jessica Simpson.

I will NOT buy any more shoes for the rest of the year. Ever! So help me...

Bonding

Despite the fact that girls might end up disagreeing with each other, there's nothing like bonding over talk about men. We've all been there...done that. This girl who I'm pretty sure had a thing against me because she thought I was making moves on her ex-boyfriend (which I am not), has been holding a grudge against me. She didn't have to tell me but I felt it.

Anyways, things between us have been getting better because hey, if I was intending to make a move on her ex-boyfriend, I would've done that a long long time ago. Besides, I'm not that kind of girl...friends don't do that to each other. It was really random, we just started having a conversation about past and current (other people) relationships and we realized that we were having similar thoughts about a friend of ours who just got together with this guy.

Girls will always be girls and we stick together...especially when it comes to men being asses. We were talking and saying how we were worried for our friend because the guy that she's with does not seem like a good guy. She agreed to have a word with our friend about it because I spoke my mind to her and she refused to listen. The next day, she came back with the same conclusion...she won't listen. Oh well, we tried.

But somehow, there's something about women...all women in fact, when we are able to bond...no matter how vastly different we are...just for that one moment when we talk about heartaches and heartbreak. How we take comfort in each other and support each other, knowing that we're not the only one who went through that situation.

Anyways, it was a really stressful day/week but its the weekend! Time to recuperate and catch up on my rest. To the person who helped me get through the week, thank you for putting up with me. You mean more to me than I say you do...