Sunday, September 28, 2008

Fall-ing


I've been having one of those weeks...the ones that seem to test you from every angle. Honestly, it has been getting worse since school started because I have had tons of things to do in addition to work and having classes everyday. I've never felt this emotionally and physically tired in a long long time. I find myself dragging my feet to classes and to meetings.

I know I'm supposed to be happy in doing all of this and I should be doing this because I want to. Right now, I'm at a point where I'm just doing all of this out of responsibility and obligation. I know a couple of my friends are feeling the same way. I can't seem to find a time to just chill and find pleasure in the little things like taking a walk with a special someone.

I miss finding the joy and contentment in doing the little things in life. It's always the little things isn't it? What was going to turn out to be a really crappy night of homework just became a whole lot better. I still can't stop smiling. There's nothing like spending some quiet time talking and remembering the good times...and laughing! I miss walking in the cold with you. Fall isn't quite here yet but I can't wait for it to get cold enough to wear coats and to hold hands with the excuse of keeping them warm. I'm waiting for the leaves to turn red, orange and gold.

It's getting there and I'll be ready.


Tuesday, September 23, 2008

Anarchy!

I have never been this angry with Malaysia ever before. Its not a bad anger but the kind that puts a type of determination in you to want to change the way things are done right now.

The thing that really ticks me off is how much political bickering going on when there is so many issues still at large. Like deep-rooted racism among the people. We will never be able to achieve change if we're going to keep fighting about the so-called "rights" due to us from the color of our skin. F**k that shit man! What is wrong with all of you damned politicians?

You're all concerned with lining your pockets instead of serving the people. You don't even trust the education system that you built but instead, send your kids overseas to study. How do you expect us to be satisfied with what you set up if you yourself don't give a hoot about it? And what about that rubbish about NS? I agree that a national service camp is a good thing to have but are students really being trained for "national service"? I think not. All I hear from NS trainees is that its a waste of time and energy. They're just taught motivational classes and how to march. So please, enlighten me as to how this is part of serving the nation? If you really want to implement some type of program to allow people to serve the nation...abolish the concept of race in the schools...in the workplace...in the country. Teach everyone to be Malaysian and not Chinese, Malay, Indian etc. Give everyone equal opportunity to progress, help those who can't help themselves as much as others can.

There will never be complete justice or equal opportunity but we can try. The problem is, we're not even trying. We're making things worse! Why do you think so many graduates who've had opportunities to study abroad refuse to come home because they know they will never obtain the same opportunities if they come back home. The government should make it so that the people love their country, that they would fight and defend it and not let it go to the dogs.

The problem with us is that we refuse to be proactive. We just sit on our behinds and bitch but never bother doing anything about it. Yes there will be costs involved - like the ridiculous ISA but think about it...who made the nation? We did. We can be stronger than that clown show of what we call our government right now.

I was reading an article on the Star saying that Malaysia has no other viable forms of energy and will have to turn into nuclear because coal prices are going up. No talks about clean, renewable energy like solar or hydro...just nuclear. If I was there listening to that minister say that, I would totally slap the s**t out of him. What did he study in idiot school anyway? Does he know that even the US government has to subsidize billions of dollars yearly in their nuclear industry? Does he know that even in the US, there are so many issues regarding the disposal of nuclear waste and the health and safety of the workers and their families? I want to know who made him the minister of Energy, Water and Communications!

I think the underlying issue is that the Malaysian government has a big, fat, ugly ego. We're a tiny nation but we are trying to stomach too big ambitions in order to prove ourselves in the eyes of the world. And we're doing a shitty job of it. No one is going to give a rat's ass about us but will be guaranteed to be treated like a laughing stock if we're going to continue doing things the way we are.

No we don't need more PM wannabe's, no we don't need racism in schools and university degrees or in the giving out of scholarships, no we don't need no damned NS program and no we definitely don't need nuclear energy.

We need action FOR the people.

Now get on about doing it.

I have plans on coming back home to Malaysia after I get job experience over here. And oh will I kick some government ass when I get back even if it means becoming bald due to me pulling my hair out. I will be an element of change for my country. By damned right I will be!

Wednesday, September 17, 2008

Down and Out

I haven't felt this bad since January when I got sick with tonsilitis. I think I am down with a mild case of food poisoning and even though it's mild, I feel really miserable. My tummy hurts and I feel nauseated sometimes but have yet to actually throw up.

My tummy hurt so much that I couldn't sleep last night until 3 or 4am. Calvin has been good about it though. He's been sort of nursing and fussing over me. It feels kinda nice except for the tummy aches. I would give up the nursing in order to feel better. Heh!

So because of this, I missed classes today and have been stuck at home. The good news was that I cleaned my fish tank since Nicole has been complaining so much about it. It looks much better now but my snail died! I think there was a lack of algae for it to eat. Poor thing. I'm deciding if I want to get another one to replace it...maybe later.

For someone who loves food, it is hard to be deprived from eating regularly. I've only been eating soup and rice porridge and drinking hot tea...along with my daily dose of Peptol-Bismol. It doesn't seem to be working though. It just made my poop black. :P I will not be eating food...especially pizza from Spikes anymore.

I swear, it's the pizza because another girl who is a mutual friend came down with similar symptoms the exact day after eating at Spikes. She also had pizza. Grr....get better soon Amanda. I need to get better! Salsa night is on Friday. >_< I need to be able to dance. One cannot dance with stomach cramps or do spins with nausea.

Dancing + Cramps = More debilitating cramps!

Spins + Nausea = Throwing up.

Okay, getting better soon. I must.

Sunday, September 07, 2008

Blargh!

Sigh.

I've been so busy with school and other stuff like getting to know new people etc etc that I have neglected my blog! Boohoo!

Fall is here and there are so many things that I wish I could write but I feel so tired every time and when I get inspired, I end up doing homework instead. School definitely kills creativity.

Anyhow, I will still be posting stuff but on a different blogsite instead. This is for my Enviromental Justice class and I'll be posting at least twice a week but it will be stuff about what I learnt in class so it may be boring if you're not interested. You're still welcome to read it tho. Here's the link:

Pensees sur le vert

I'll have to say goodbye for now. Finished one assignment, several more to go but hopefully I will be done soon. Imagine, I'm only taking 4 classes but it feels like a whole lot more. My stomach is growling and I have to feed it soon.