John Mayer - Split Screen Sadness

And I don’t know where you went when you left me but
Says here in the water you must be gone by now
I can tell somehow
One hand on the trigger of a telephone
Wonderin' when the call comes
Where you say it’s alright
You got your heart right

Maybe I’ll sleep inside my coat and
Wait on your porch ‘till you come back home
Oh, right
I can’t find a flight

We share the sadness
Split screen sadness

Two wrongs make it all alright tonight
Two wrongs make it all alright tonight
Two wrongs make it all alright tonight
Two wrongs make it all alright tonight

"All you need is love" is a lie 'cause
We had a love but we still said goodbye
Now we’re tired, battered fighters

And it stings when it nobody’s fault cause there's
Nothing to blame At the drop of your name
It’s only the air you took and the breath you left

So maybe I’ll sleep inside my coat and
Wait on your porch 'til you come back home
Oh, right
I can’t find a flight
So I’ll check the weather wherever you are
Cause I wanna know if you can see the stars tonight
It might be my only right

We share the sadness
(two wrongs make it all alright tonight)
Split screen sadness
(two wrongs make it all alright tonight)
We share the sadness
(two wrongs make it all alright tonight)
Split screen sadness
(two wrongs make it all alright tonight)

I called
because
I just
Need to feel you on the line
Don’t hang up this time
And I know it was me who called it over but
I still wish you'd fought me ‘til Your dying day
Don’t let me get away

Cause I can’t wait to figure out what’s wrong with me
So I can say 'this is the way that I used to be
There’s no substitute for time
Or for the sadness
(two wrongs make it all alright tonight)
Split screen sadness
(two wrongs make it all alright tonight)
We share the sadness
(two wrongs make it all alright tonight)
Split screen sadness
(two wrongs make it all alright tonight)
Oh and the sadness
It's alright, it's alright
Oh and the sadness
It's alright, it's alright
Oh and the sadness
It's alright, it's alright

Nightminds - Missy Higgins

Just lay it all down
Put your face into my neck and let it fall out
I know I know I know
I knew before you got home
This world you're in now
It doesn't have to be alone
I'll get there somehow 'cos
I know I know I know
When even springtime feels cold

But I will learn to breathe this ugliness you see
So we can both be there
And we can both share the dark
And in our honesty, together we will rise
Out of our nightminds
And into the light at the end of the fight...

You were blessed by
A different kind of inner view
It's all magnified
The highs will make you fly
But the lows make you want to die
And I was once there
Hanging from that very ledge where you are standing
So I know I know I know
It's easier to let go

But I will learn to breathe this ugliness you see
so we can both be there and we can both share the dark
And in our honesty, together we will rise out of our nightminds
and into the light at the end of the fight

...and in our honesty, together we will rise out of our nightminds
and into the light... at the end of their fight...

Loss

My heart aches
I feel the cold

When I listen to
The songs of Victory Rose

If things could only be
With you and me

I miss you now
Can you feel me?

So futile to cry
Tears that will run dry

As hearts harden
And love is lost

Yet again
Yet again

Lost

I think I have a really bad coping mechanism with how I deal with myself. After going through a period of emotional instability, I found myself shutting down. I left all that is important behind and focused more on distracting myself and the pain away. It did work, yes...that I admit but it left me wandering in life. I'm behind my school work because I had no motivation to do it whatsoever. All I want to do is just to have fun and or indulge myself in making me feel good.

The worst thing is that it also left me behind in my walk with Him. I haven't been praying or reading the Bible regularly because I was too tired to do it and too lazy. I felt like I didn't need Him to help me get through. The reason I was feeling the way I did was because I chose to obey Him and now see where it left me. I feel like I'm going through this on blind faith, giving of myself half-heartedly.

I feel lost. I feel like I lost my purpose in life, I forgot what it is and I forgot who I am. Sacrifice is meant to teach us lessons in life and living but I'm not satisfied with the outcome. I guess what I'm trying to say is that I've given up something I want so much with so much of a struggle but I don't see how it is benefitting me in any way. It feels more like I'm worse off than I was before. I'm supposed to bounce back and live as I should but it doesn't feel good at all. As a matter of fact, it sucks. I want this feeling to go away.

Standing Outside A Broken Phone Booth With Money In My Hand

by The Primitive Radio Gods

Jan lays down and wrestles in her sleep
Moonlight spills on comic books
And superstars in magazines
An old friend calls and tells us where to meet
Her plane takes off from Baltimore
And touches down on Bourbon Street

We sit outside and argue all night long
About a god we've never seen
But never fails to side with me
Sunday comes and all the papers say
Ma Teresa's joined the mob
And happy with her full time job

Am I alive or thoughts that drift away?
Does summer come for everyone?
Can humans do as prophets say?
And if I die before I learn to speak
Can money pay for all the days I lived awake
But half asleep?

A life is time, they teach us growing up
The seconds ticking killed us all
A million years before the fall
You ride the waves and don't ask where they go
You swim like lions through the crest
And bathe yourself on zebra flesh

I've been downhearted baby,
I've been downhearted baby,
Ever since the day we met

Impossible

Everyone has their own set of rules that they set for themselves, like "I will never (insert action here)". I have my own set and today, I just broke one of them. The very one that I've had for as long as I can remember. It was "I'll never cry over some stupid boy" and I just did. I cried for the lost opportunity to love the person ever, for doing the right thing, for struggling with myself to let go. I realized that it takes so much strength and courage to let go of something you want so bad. By letting things go, you don't know what you're holding on to anymore. There's nothing left.

I wanted so much for him to screw up, to mess up, for his ugly side to show but all I see and all I hear are the good things. He won an iPod shuffle the other day and I went to get my air tickets confirmed with one of the staff workers and she told me that he gave the shuffle to her. No strings attached because he knew that she needed an mp3 player. How can one hate a person like that? Teach me! I wanted him to make me hate him, to despise his guts so that letting go would be easy. But it isn't at all. It isn't.

Broken

Would you still love me
If you knew I let myself go
Into the being of someone else
That bastard I despise so much

Would you see me the same
If you knew what I did
If you knew I was a whore
All to forget about you

I love you so much
So much that it hurts
Can’t you see
I’m falling apart

No one can replace you
I feel emptiness inside
A mess of dirt and filth
Used and broken

All I want is
A hug from you
As I cry and you say
Everything is going to be alright