Zonked

There are days when you seem to bounce off walls but then again there are days when you feel like doing nothing but chill. Why? Because you're so tired! I'm having one of those lazy days. It doesn't help that I have to finish a book report by tonight and complete a midterm by Tuesday. How now?

The Tale of the Wandering Jews*

When I went for Catalyst (Christian Conference) earlier this summer, they gave us a plant each to take back home with us. We were supposed to take care of them. Three of us from the same apartment went but we ended up with 4 plants because one of our friends left his behind with us. I ended up taking care of all of them. They sit in a neat row on a little concrete block outside the door to the apartment where I no longer live.

Today, I received a phone call from my friend while I was on the job. Apparently, some kids decided that it would be fun to smash the plants in the pots right outside the door. I don't think they realized that my friend was in. She was in the kitchen making lunch when she heard a noise outside. According to her, they were "...hurling the pots to the ground". By the time she got out, the kids ran off but the neighbour across from us saw what had happened and called Campus Security.

When they apprehended the kids, my friend was asked if the plants were hers and she said no...she told them that they were mine despite the fact that I don't live there anymore. Next thing I know, I got a call from Campus Security telling me what had happened and they asked me if I wanted to press charges. They even recommended that I press charges. I mean, these were kids for goodness sake! They were like 9 or 10 years old according to my friend.

I told them that it wasn't neccessary and then they asked me if it would be better if I was recompensated for the 2 pots that they smashed. I said fine...that will work. Thinking that the whole fiasco was over, I didn't think about it any further. About 10 minutes later, I got a call from the police itself! =.=" They once again asked me if I wanted to press charges and I said no. They gave me the case number and told me that they will get in touch with the kids' parents because it's no longer a criminal case but a civil one. Fine...whatever!

We had a couple of friends over for dinner today and in the middle of dinner, I got a call from one of the boy's mum asking me if I knew why her son did what he did. =.=" She even asked me if my "son" was there and that could've prompted what happened. I told her I didn't have a son. She further asked me if I knew her son. I was like..."Why would I even know your son?". She told me that she was sorry about the whole affair and would call me back in about a week to settle the whole mess and I told her that it was alright.

I couldn't help but feel sorry for both the kids and their parents. I mean, those boys were like 9 or 10 years old. What were they doing around the neighbourhood vandalizing property? How come their parents didn't know where they were or what they were up to? I didn't want to prosecute because that would mean giving the kids a juvenile record at such a young age. That is not cool at all! I couldn't help but feel sorry for their parents because they have to deal with their kids who are this way at such a tender age. I am so grateful for my parents keeping a close eye on me while I was still growing up. Who knows what nonsense I could have gotten myself into?

*The Wandering Jews are the names of the plants that got smashed

Cheap(!) Designer Clothing?

I think my favourite pastime at the moment would be shopping online. Especially if I have a reason to escape working on my weekly book report for my History class this summer. Recently, I noticed that many designers decided to collaborate with retail stores to produce cheap but still fashionable clothing. For example, Karl Lagerfeld (designs for Chanel) and Roberto Cavalli decided to team up with H&M to produce affordable but fashionable clothing for the masses because the average Joe/Jill would probably not be able to shop at Chanel.

Target I think would currently be the best place to look for cheap but stylish clothing since they recruited labels such as Rafe, Libertine and Isaac Mizrahi among others. I recently spotted a Rafe bag at Target for under $30 and was surprised at how good it looked. For one thing, it didn't look cheap. However, I didn't really like the design of the handles and therefore, walked away from it. For those uneducated in the matters of fashion, a Rafe Totengco bag does not go for under $300 and usually runs into being over $400 a pop.

The bag that I ordered


One of Libertine's collection pieces at Target

However, a couple of days later, wanting to escape the utter boredom of reading Alan Brinkley's "The End of Reform", I decided to give myself a break and go browsing online. I found myself at Target.com and to cut the story short, I have now in transition, a Rafe bag being shipped to me. I didn't see the bag at the store and it was available online only and the reviews were good. If I don't like it when it arrives, I can always return it to the nearest Target store for a full refund. Now, after browsing Libertine's line at Target, I think I might go and have a look at the store in the weeks to come. Now who can resist affordable, chic designer clothing?

Footprints

Sometimes, all you need is a little prod in the back. The best thing about it is that God knows exactly what you need to get going. I thank God for my current room mate Belinda. If it weren't for her, I would be making excuses on the ground of studying instead of attending Bible Study. For the past 2 weeks, she has continuously pushed me and dragged me to Bible study. I now have experienced what it's like being out of your comfort zone but still feeling so connected to others.

I'm the only Asian person in this little group of faithful believers, everyone else is African except for me. It's amazing to see how much in common we have when it comes to God and our personal decisions to love and obey him. The 2 times that I didn't feel like going, after forcing myself to go, I'm glad that I went because I came back so blessed!

Recently, things have been happening in my life that I would never see myself experiencing ever. Isn't it funny how things work for our own good? To be completely honest here, I have been feeling distant from God for the past 2 or 3 months despite the fact that I still went to church. I couldn't hear what He wanted of me, of the things that He wanted me to do. Being away from home didn't help either because instead of doing what was right, I did what made me feel good. The good feelings never lasted of course but ended up with me feeling guilty after that.

To make matters more interesting, I felt that God has been challenging me to put my trust in Him in an area of my life that I've been struggling with for a long long time. Things have happened that seemed out of place and bizzare at the moment so much so they left me confused and wondering about of a lot of things. My usual "modus operandi" of dealing with things like that would be to harp on about it and think way too much about it so much so that in the end, I would end up with a distorted and much doctored version of events or events to come. It all usually ends the same way, with me getting disappointed and feeling bitter.

Although I've said it aloud countless times that I will leave it in God's hands, I never really meant it because I ended up trying to do things my way. This time I feel it's different. Circumstances put this situation such that it's out of my control. When I realized what was happening...this cycle of events that would take place everytime something like this happens, I decided that it was enough. I've had enough of regrets and hurts all because I chose to do things my way, not His way.

I think the time has come for me to learn to put my trust wholeheartedly in God when it came to matters such as these. It is hard because I don't know what the outcome will be but I know FOR SURE that whatever happens, it is in God's will for my life. His good, pleasing and oh-so-perfect will. It's like the story of the footprints in the sand. I know God will get me through this!

Last night I had a dream. I dreamed I was walking along the beach with the Lord. Across the sky flashed scenes from my life. For each scene, I noticed two sets of footprints in the sand: one belonged to me, the other to the Lord.

After the last scene of my life flashed before me, I looked back at the footprints in the sand. I noticed that at many times along the path of my life, especially at the very lowest and saddest times, there was only one set of footprints.

This really troubled me, so I asked the Lord about it. “Lord, you said once I decided to follow you, You’d walk with me all the way. But I noticed that during the saddest and most troublesome times of my life, there was only one set of footprints. I don’t understand why, when I needed You the most, You would leave me.”

The Lord replied, “My son, my precious child, I love you and I would never leave you. During your times of suffering, when you could see only one set of footprints, it was then that I carried you.”



A thousand times I've failed
Still Your mercy remains And should I stumble again
I'm caught in Your grace
Everlasting
Your light will shine when all else fades
Never ending
Your glory goes beyond all fame

Your will above all else
My purpose remains
The art of losing myself
In bringing You praise
Everlasting
Your light will shine when all else fades
Never ending
Your glory goes beyond all fame

In my heart and my soul
Lord I give You control
Consume me from the inside out
Lord let justice and praise
Become my embrace
To love you from the inside out

Everlasting
Your light will shine when all else fades
Never ending
Your glory goes beyond all fame
And the cry of my heart
Is to bring You praise
From the inside out
Lord my soul cries out

Scattered

I wonder where will I be in 10 years time...5 years time. Will I still be here in the United States? Back in Malaysia? Timbuktu? I received an e-mail this morning from a dear friend telling me that one of my friends left to Perth for studies. No one informed me before hand so I wasn't able to wish her goodbye via sms.

One more will be leaving soon thus, leaving 2 behind. Two of which are my dearest and closest. I miss them. I miss them even as I'm writing this. It must be horribly sad to see the people you grew up with leave one by one and in the end, you're left behind. Despite leaving Malaysia, I still try my best to keep in touch with my friends. There isn't a day that goes by without me thinking of them and wishing them well.

If you're one of those friends reading this, I might be 100,000 miles away but know that I think of you.

Vienna

Slow down you crazy child
You're so ambitious for a juvenile
But then if you're so smart tell me why
Are you still so afraid?
Where's the fire, what's the hurry about?
You better cool it off before you burn it out
You got so much to do and only
So many hours in a day

But you know that when the truth is told
That you can get what you want
Or you can just get old
You're gonna kick off before you even get halfway through
When will you realize...Vienna waits for you

Slow down you're doing fine
You can't be everything you want to be
Before your time
Although it's so romantic on the borderline tonight (tonight)
Too bad but it's the life you lead
You're so ahead of yourself
That you forgot what you need
Though you can see when you're wrong
You know you can't always see when you're right(you're right)

You got your passion you got your pride
But don't you know that only fools are satisfied?
Dream on but don't imagine they'll all come true
When will you realize
Vienna waits for you

Slow down you crazy child
Take the phone off the hook and disappear for a while
It's alright you can afford to lose a day or two
When will you realize...
Vienna waits for you.

And you know that when the truth is told
That you can get what you want
Or you can just get old
You're gonna kick off before you even get halfway through

Why don't you realize...Vienna waits for you
When will you realize...Vienna waits for you



I remember listening to this song at the movies, but not to the words, hence, I forgot about it eventually. YT sent it to me the other day and it triggered something in me. I've been so busy working lately and studying that I forgot the little things in life. I've been putting work, studies and myself on a pedestal. Nothing is good enough...no one is good enough. I miss watching TV and movies shoulder to shoulder, thinking of what to cook for dinner...laughing together.

The Mall: An American Evil

I hate America. I really do. Why? Because of the tempting retail outlets here that peddle their wares at insanely low prices. Long gone are the days when I stare wistfully at goods sold on amazon.com and dream that I could purchase them because they usually do not ship to Malaysia. Now, with the click of a button, I find myself buying shoes and luggage online. It's not that they're expensive or anything but it's the fact that they're cheap and plentifully abundant so much so that one finds oneself buying things because they just happen to be CHEAP.

I had to stop myself on several occasions now that I realized what I've been unconcsiously doing. I failed today. A pair of jeans from New York & Company that was once $59.50 is now $5.99. It looked good on me. A sweater that I've been eyeing at Pacsun, was $39.50 and is now $2.99. How can one resist when Roxy canvas sneakers are only $2.99. ROXY CANVAS SNEAKERS FOR $2.99!! Those prices are unheard of back in good 'ol Malaysia where one can only dream of finding such incredible steals (with conversion!) at the mall.

I've been making money from America, working for my college and letting them put good money in my pocket and a roof over my head. The malls here have been working overtime too, silently drawing me with invisible strings and slowly draining money out of my pocket and putting it back into the American economy. I think I will be staying away from the evils of the mall and their retail therapy. Too much of a good thing is bad, no?

Time Is Money!

Last week, I had some of my hours cut from my RCA job which meant that from the 9th to 19th, I would only be working two shifts a week which equals 8 hours of work a week compared to the regular 24 hours a week. The best part? I still get paid the same amount as I get a monthly and not hourly stipend. It is nice to get a little time off to myself instead of having to work almost everyday and the hours that got cut out were all of my dead shifts so I have been sleeping every night.

My friend recently went to China for 6 weeks and left his job at the library. I ended up taking his position and now, besides my RCA job, I work for about 10-11 hours a week at the library. To make matters more interesting for me, my summer class started and my reading requirements is one book a week and textbook material. In addition to the readings, I have a paper to hand in every week by Monday morning. If the books were fiction books, that would make them easier to read but that is just my wishful thinking.

I think I'm busier now in the summer than I was when I was taking classes despite the homework and assignments. Funny huh? I have no time to play computer games anymore, nor watch TV and at times, I even feel too tired to cook. I was working in the library today and I was processing books that were going to be thrown out. Imagine that! They throw books out of the library because they are old and outdated. Pfft....I wonder if they even recycle them? I think I'm allowed to take the books if I wanted to but currently, the ones that I processed were Math and Journalism books.

The best news of the day? I finally got paid! It brought such pleasure to my heart when I saw my paycheck, minus taxes. Imagine, all my hardwork finally converted into cash. At least now my bank account will be out of the red. I am so looking forward to my next paycheck!

California (Part1)

When it was finally the day before the trip, I think all of us were too tired from working to actually be excited about the trip. Of course no one was looking forward to getting up at 3.45am to catch the 6.15am flight. I used to have that problem with waking up but I'm glad to say that my current job has given me more than one occasion to practice.

Anyways, it was the four of us at the airport, all of us looking half asleep that we flew off to Minneapolis/St. Paul to catch our connecting flight to LAX. The previous day, Northwest Airlines were having terrible delays and we were afraid that we would not be able to catch our connecting flight in time but thankfully, there were no delays whatsoever going there and coming back.

In comparison to the midwest, California looked dead and brown from the air which came as a surprise to me because I expected it to be greener at least. The midwest from the air is lush with greenery which is a pretty sight. We landed at LAX and had to take a shuttle to the hotel to get to the rental car company.

Not knowing what car to expect, we sorta went with the flow and requested for an intermediate car. We did the right thing because if the car were any smaller, our bags would not have fit into the boot space...and we had only 1 bag apiece. The car turned out to be a brand spanking new Toyota Corolla. Needless to say, our driver for the trip was delighted. It is always good to keep your driver happy.

I got assigned the job of being the navigator which stuck for the rest of the trip. However, after we got the car, we decided to check into our little motel which was quite a drive away. I have been rather deprived in Des Moines of good asian food so when we saw a Yoshinoya, I think all of us the the car screeched and there was no further negotiation. We all had lunch at Yoshinoya. However, I think the Yoshinoya in Malaysia tastes better than the ones here.

Our little motel was situated in the county of Bellflower which turned out to be where a lot of Asians and Hispanics live which was nice for a change after seeing and living with WASPs all the time here in Des Moines. I was surprised to see the number of Koreans, Filipinos and Spanish people all in the same community. They even had a Filipino bakery where they sold authentic Filipino goodies. For a while, I felt as if I was in the Philippines.

After checking into the hotel, we decided that it was time to check out Los Angeles. Our first destination was Sunset Boulevard. However, we didn't get a proper map and therefore, we got lost for about an hour. After numerous attempts to get directions from gas stations, we finally reached Sunset Boulevard along historic Route 66.

To get to Sunset, we passed by the heart of Los Angeles City and Koreantown and a little Hispanic area that reminded me of Petaling Street. I kid you not. It was that similar!

We drove down Sunset and stopped by at the infamous Hollywood Forever Cemetary. There were way to many graves so much so that we didn't see any famous graves except for Johnny Ramone from the Ramones. I guess his headstone gave it away. After bumming around in the cemetary (sounds really morbid), we drove down to Beverly Hills to look at all the nice houses and then back up Santa Monica Boulevard and as we were about to head to Chinatown, we found ourselves at Hollywood Boulevard (ie. Mann's Chinese Theatre, The Walk of Fame, etc etc) and decided to take a stroll down.

We spent a couple of hours there and boy did I love the Virgin Megastore. It was precisely how a music store should be. There were some awesome stuff in there but I didn't buy anything. After a while, all of us were running on pure mental strength alone. We were oh so tired from all that travelling and lack of sleep. We decided that it was time to have dinner and dinner it was at Micelli's. Micelli's is the oldest Italian restaurant in LA and it was just along Hollywood Boulevard. The food was alright but I think Italiannies still has better food. After dinner, we walked a bit more and hit the souvenir shops and finally went home completely zonked.