Footprints

Sometimes, all you need is a little prod in the back. The best thing about it is that God knows exactly what you need to get going. I thank God for my current room mate Belinda. If it weren't for her, I would be making excuses on the ground of studying instead of attending Bible Study. For the past 2 weeks, she has continuously pushed me and dragged me to Bible study. I now have experienced what it's like being out of your comfort zone but still feeling so connected to others.

I'm the only Asian person in this little group of faithful believers, everyone else is African except for me. It's amazing to see how much in common we have when it comes to God and our personal decisions to love and obey him. The 2 times that I didn't feel like going, after forcing myself to go, I'm glad that I went because I came back so blessed!

Recently, things have been happening in my life that I would never see myself experiencing ever. Isn't it funny how things work for our own good? To be completely honest here, I have been feeling distant from God for the past 2 or 3 months despite the fact that I still went to church. I couldn't hear what He wanted of me, of the things that He wanted me to do. Being away from home didn't help either because instead of doing what was right, I did what made me feel good. The good feelings never lasted of course but ended up with me feeling guilty after that.

To make matters more interesting, I felt that God has been challenging me to put my trust in Him in an area of my life that I've been struggling with for a long long time. Things have happened that seemed out of place and bizzare at the moment so much so they left me confused and wondering about of a lot of things. My usual "modus operandi" of dealing with things like that would be to harp on about it and think way too much about it so much so that in the end, I would end up with a distorted and much doctored version of events or events to come. It all usually ends the same way, with me getting disappointed and feeling bitter.

Although I've said it aloud countless times that I will leave it in God's hands, I never really meant it because I ended up trying to do things my way. This time I feel it's different. Circumstances put this situation such that it's out of my control. When I realized what was happening...this cycle of events that would take place everytime something like this happens, I decided that it was enough. I've had enough of regrets and hurts all because I chose to do things my way, not His way.

I think the time has come for me to learn to put my trust wholeheartedly in God when it came to matters such as these. It is hard because I don't know what the outcome will be but I know FOR SURE that whatever happens, it is in God's will for my life. His good, pleasing and oh-so-perfect will. It's like the story of the footprints in the sand. I know God will get me through this!

Last night I had a dream. I dreamed I was walking along the beach with the Lord. Across the sky flashed scenes from my life. For each scene, I noticed two sets of footprints in the sand: one belonged to me, the other to the Lord.

After the last scene of my life flashed before me, I looked back at the footprints in the sand. I noticed that at many times along the path of my life, especially at the very lowest and saddest times, there was only one set of footprints.

This really troubled me, so I asked the Lord about it. “Lord, you said once I decided to follow you, You’d walk with me all the way. But I noticed that during the saddest and most troublesome times of my life, there was only one set of footprints. I don’t understand why, when I needed You the most, You would leave me.”

The Lord replied, “My son, my precious child, I love you and I would never leave you. During your times of suffering, when you could see only one set of footprints, it was then that I carried you.”



A thousand times I've failed
Still Your mercy remains And should I stumble again
I'm caught in Your grace
Everlasting
Your light will shine when all else fades
Never ending
Your glory goes beyond all fame

Your will above all else
My purpose remains
The art of losing myself
In bringing You praise
Everlasting
Your light will shine when all else fades
Never ending
Your glory goes beyond all fame

In my heart and my soul
Lord I give You control
Consume me from the inside out
Lord let justice and praise
Become my embrace
To love you from the inside out

Everlasting
Your light will shine when all else fades
Never ending
Your glory goes beyond all fame
And the cry of my heart
Is to bring You praise
From the inside out
Lord my soul cries out