Love VS. Lust (SG 2)

Please bear with me, this is a long post but one worth reading...I promise!

Been going through that book for the past 2 weeks...Sex God by Rob Bell. If I could, I would make it mandatory for everyone in the world to read it. It's so amazing how he puts issues that we have so many questions about out there in the context of honest and God-centered answers. I've learnt more from reading this book than I have through experiences that I've been through, or experiences that my friends have been through, or from movies or even my parents.

It is so easy to confuse lust with love in the world today because we are constantly bombarded with images, music and literature from the media labelling lust as "love". But then again, lust is not just about physical things like sex which is usually what we associate it with. Lust is something that we crave after so much that it occupies our minds even when we're not even thinking about it, that we're willing to do anything or give up anything to get it. It permeates our being subconsciously and we might not even realize it. So one can lust after money, food, success or even shoes. (Btw, I am referring to myself here and I am repenting!)

Unlike lust which is trying to get something all the time, love is the opposite...its about giving unconditionally. It's about putting your heart out there; of giving it to someone and taking the chance that they might not want it and having it given back to you. Love is about giving up power. When you give someone your love, they can choose to accept it or reject it and there is nothing that you can do about it. "Love is giving up control. If we are serious about loving someone, we have to surrender all the desires within us to manipulate the relationship." (Rob Bell, pg 98)

Love is about getting naked. Exposing your inner most being; your hopes, thoughts, fears, future...dreams. It's about putting yourself out there and being vunerable. That's why it hurts so much when relationships end. It's because you've given so much of yourself and having to take it back. But at the same time, you don't get your heart back the same way you gave it out. It always comes back lacking some part of it.

Incomplete.

"It's so easy to take off your clothes and have sex. People do it all the time. But opening up your soul to someone letting them into your sprit...that is being naked. Racing ahead of progession always costs something. When there is no common mission, no shared task, no sense of bone of bone and flesh of flesh, no bonds that take years to develop, many end up moving from relationship to relationship, having sex but never really being naked." (Rob Bell, pg 156-157)

That's why those who have loved much, hurt much. I have experienced hurt that I never thought was possible...almost to an extent that it was crippling. Yes it was hurtful emotionally but it hurt so much that I actually felt an ache in my chest. That pang in your chest when you happen to meet the person by chance and he/she does not even acknowledge you when they see you. The questions that race through your mind, "What did I do wrong?"..."How could he?". The hurt that comes next...the feeling of being used. And the finally the anger that could make or break a person.

It's so easy to turn into this cynical person who refuses to believe in love or even take another chance because your heart has been broken on more than one occasion. This is exactly how Jesus felt. The pain that He went through in dying on the cross for our sin when people clearly rejected Him. People still reject Him but the amazing thing is that He still loves us.

Unconditionally.

That is what love is supposed to be. Unconditional. Loving someone as they are...in spite of their shortcomings. Accepting them they way they are, like how Jesus accepted us.

This last part is an excerpt from Chapter 8, page 154. Something to think about.

Is that where the phrase "making love" comes from? An awareness that something mystical happens in sex, that something good and needed is created? Something is added to the world, given to the world. The world is blessed with something that it desperately needs. This man and this woman together are in some profoundly mysterious way good for the well-being of the whole world.

When we go to a wedding, maybe we're so moved because we want this new couple to succeed. We intuitively know that their "success" is somehow tied to ours. Their making of love makes the world a better place to live, a place where there is more love for all of us. Maybe this is why we always notice great marriages. When their love is growing, it inspires us. Their life together gives us life.

A wedding reminds us that it's all connected.

We're all connected.