Or So I Thought...

After being plagued by the feeling of awkwardness for 24 hours, I decided I had enough and I went and had a long conversation with my friend Sam. We decided that it would be stupid to not be friends over this matter and even if we still stayed friends, people would talk anyway. That was the basic gist of our conversation but then, I thought everything would be okay and things would resume as usual.

I guess I was wrong because now, it feels that the both of us are trying to accomodate to her feelings, be it rational or not. It's like we're doing our best (him more than me) to ensure that she doesn't turn psycho again. I am mad at myself, at him and mostly at her. Although she came over the morning after the incident to apologize and talk, I still feel that what she did is totally unfair to both myself and especially Sam. I feel like Sam and I are treading on thin ice around her...to make sure that we're not seen together too often by her or by her friends. What rationale is there in that??

I don't get it either because I feel that it is incredibly unfair to compromise our friendship just to "jaga her hati". Honestly, he has no such obligation towards her because they're no longer seeing each other and he can be friends with whoever he pleases without needing her consent. So what? Now she's feeling better about herself but then, at whose expense this time? Mine...and I don't think I'm willing to let it go that way.