Gossip = Disaster

If I could choose to have a super power, right now...I would wish that I could control the minds of people; their thoughts. Recently, things have been a little crazy for me as I try and figure out what is going on with some of the friendships I have with people. I confess that I am guilty of gossiping and speculating about other people and now I know what it feels like to be on the receiving end. It sucks. People have been asking and speculating about my friendship with this guy friend of mine because we just hang out a lot and I find it so awkward when I have to answer or fend off questions from people. I hate that feeling because we get kind of awkward about the subject and not talk about it.

The worst part is that I feel that the person that I actually like is feeling a little pang of something I'm not quite sure of because things between us have been different. I don't want him to think that there is something going on with my friend and I when in fact, I like him. It pains me everytime when I see him acting all weird about it and then I feel like telling him the truth. But I can't. If he only knew how I feel. If I only knew how to stop feeling this way. But I don't.

To make matters more interesting, I have a feeling that this guy I recently met not too long ago has feelings for me. I might be totally right or totally wrong with this. The stupid thing is that I feel he has been avoiding me and when I was talking to him the other day, he told me indirectly that he doesn't want to get hurt because he has feelings for this girl so he avoids her. I'm pretty sure that gossip has reached him and this is why I am so mad! I can't even be friends with him because of what people say. I think I need a shrink...