Mum

I was never close to my mum, maybe only at one point in my life when she wasn't working and could spend more time with us. I never recalled telling her about the things that were going on in my life except for the mundane stuff. I guess maybe it was because I was afraid that she'll judge me and possibly end up blaming herself for my bad behavior, because she couldn't be there for us all of the time. I was afraid that in her anger, she would discipline me in unfair ways and no doubt, that did happen. So when I came over here, it felt good to not have to look over my shoulder all the time, to be able to do what I wanted.

I guess you know by now that I was feeling down in the dumps for a little while now but the other night, I didn't know what came over me. I think it was the lowest point I ever came to regarding this matter and I did something that even surprised myself. I picked up the phone and called my mum to tell her what was going on and just to ask her to pray for me. She did so and I had as good as a cry as I could without freaking my room mate out. I guess what I'm trying to say is that maybe somehow, I didn't expect my mum to be that cool about it.

Well, I haven't talked to her since then and I hope she doesn't worry about me. But somewhere deep inside of me, I have a feeling she knows I'm alright because she raised me to be who I am today. Tough as nails on the outside but with a big heart on the inside. I'll be okay.