Dress Shopping

Maybe its just another trait of being Asian but usually, I have no issues with fitting into American sizes 0, 2 or XS when it comes to buying regular clothes like tops or pants. However, when it comes to buying dresses, that's a totally different story. I find it almost impossible to find a decent dress over here that I can fit into...they are usually too large for me. It gets frustrating at times because out of lets say, 20 dresses that I try on, I only find 1 that would fit well. It bothers me somewhat but not enough to piss the crap out of me.

Today was an exception. I have had been looking for a dress to wear for the past 2 months to my friend's wedding this Saturday and I have found nothing. So today, I went shopping with Grace and we walked into this high end store - Ann Taylor and I didn't expect to find anything nice that would be reasonably priced. In the corner of the sale rack, I spotted this white dress with a floral pattern and checked the size, it was a Size 0. My heart skipped a beat. I fumbled for the price tag, it was only $20 from $148.

I grabbed the dress and ran to the dressing room to put it on. The moment I slipped it on, my heart sank...it was too big! How is that possible?!! I wanted to swear like a pirate and I couldn't bring myself to put it back. I almost bought it with hopes of getting it altered but I figured it woule be a pain to alter it due to its design. I put it back on the rack and walked out of the store without looking back.

As I left the store, I felt like exploding. I felt like I was being punished for being too "skinny". I mean, its not like I starve myself or I don't eat...heck, anyone who knows me know how much I am capable of eating. For the next hour, I could not remember a time when I wished so much to be fatter. I think its the friggin' store that has false sizing (one size down) to allow their customers to feel better about themselves...so what? That they can eat more and go up a dress size and not feel bad about it?

I found myself wondering if I was going to be doomed to wear junior's sizes the rest of my life. I found myself questioning my body even though time and time again, people have complimented me. What should I believe? It is hard to believe in what you think you should especially if everything else tells you otherwise.