These were the words that jumped out to me when I read an excerpt from Chapter 6 of the book "Sex God: Exploring the Endless Connections Between Sexuality and Spirituality" by Rob Bell. Despite how dodgy or kinky the title might sound, the whole book is about how God made us the way we were and His plans for love. Love and relationships consist of 3 parts; friendship, commitment and the physical expression of love.
The craziest thing is that we so often see people in relationships that are incomplete as they lack one or more of the elements. Talk about going out for all the wrong reasons. Been there, done that...regretted like hell. It was partially my fault as well; for not knowing who I was or what I am worth. I only attended the study for the first week and I am honestly looking forward to the other sessions.
There have been so many questions in the back of my mind for as long as I can remember and they have yet to be answered until now. Growing up in a conservative Asian-culture based society didn't help either as the subject was considered taboo. Any education I got regarding the subject was mostly word of mouth from friends and from where else...the TV and media. All I heard from growing up in church was that it was not good and hence, don't do it...no more questions! Never did it say what it was in the context of the situation or what it really meant.
We all want to be loved in some way or the other and some of us are willing to do anything to obtain that type of "love"...the feeling of being wanted.
"Some women only know how to relate to men by making a series of transactions. They want to be wanted, and the man wants, well, the man wants what lots of men want. So they trade. Essentially they strike a deal with men, time and time again." (pg 123)
The part that hit home most was....
" You don't need a man by your side to validate you as a woman. You already are loved and valued (by God...and by your friends!). You're good enough exactly as you are...You are worth dying for. Your worth does not come from your body, your mind, your work, what you produce, what you put out, how much money you make. Your worth does not come from whether or not you have a man. Your worth does not come from whether or not men notice you. You have inestimable worth that comes from your creator." (pg 123-124)
Bingo!
....will be continued
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2 comments:
hey manda, read the post and was thinking about this: "You don't need a man by your side to validate you as a woman."... do women really feel that way? i mean, no offense, but that seems rather silly?
Some of them do, I believe...unfortunately.
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