Doubts

Today I had my first senior capstone class for my major. I think it was one of the few times I felt such panic inside. The class involves completing projects that are endorsed by outside parties with real issues to deal with. For a short moment, I felt inadequate, inexperienced and wondered why I chose my major. I felt like I knew nothing!

There were 4 different projects and we could choose which one we wanted to do until the spots filled up. The bad thing was that I was sitting at the back of the classroom and I was rooting for 2 of the 4 projects. I didn't get any of them. I got the one that I didn't want to do at all but then again, after thinking about it, it wasn't too bad and I'm glad I got it because I sort of know what type of research should be done. I guess things happen for a reason.

I saw the person I thought I was over everyday since I came back. I realized that I'm still not completely okay but I'm getting there. It was hard seeing him again and it seems like we're avoiding each other. Maybe it's the best thing to do for now. I'm looking forward to the day when I can look him in the eye and confidently say that I'm doing good when he asks me how I am.